Transitioning from dreams to reality

Archive for March, 2010|Monthly archive page

Beginning

In Uncategorized on March 13, 2010 at 7:57 am

Beginning. The word instills a fear deep within. Not an apprehension of the unknown, but an understanding of what lies ahead. Inspiration from God is never small; it drops into my heart and the minute I own it there is an explosion of anticipation. With anticipation comes joy, with joy excitement, with excitement planning, and with planning a still small voice. The voice whispers – tells me to stay excited, but to step back and out of the way as my imperfect flesh is seasoned at trying to control the uncontainable.

His plan is perfect and I pray my heartbeat can match His as the narrow path invites me forward. Beginning. It’s a new day; the memories of yesterday are nothing but brush strokes on the canvas of eternity. Vivid pinks and pastel oranges blend with dark shades of blue and brown to create a confusing parade that only my Maker understands. The abstract depicts the journey of a fanatical young woman who has opened every closed door – both good and bad. Experiences of pain and rejection are mirrored by grace and love; cradled in the entity of a Father who relentlessly fights for this undeserving child.

The trepidation an assumption of what will be; false starts define 24 years of sunshine that appear bright compared to the sporadic gusts of hell. Two limitless extremes toil for one destiny. Thoughts scream and beg to be owned. Disassociation plunges to the rescue promising retreat as the only option. And He whispers it again, “beginning.

The faintest lilt holds my attention. “Beginning. Not by your definition, but by Mine.